He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize