Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
