just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
