Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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