when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
