His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
