If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
