I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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