have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
