dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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