Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
