Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Randomize
