thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
