Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
