3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
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