I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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