so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
