Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
