Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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