My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
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