I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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