Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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