I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
