i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
