I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize