yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
