So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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