I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
