they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
