I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
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