I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
