Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
