Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
