I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Randomize
