this just has baby written all over it
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize