If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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