Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
