rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
