Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
