My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
