he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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