I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
