we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
