oh god the rape fog is back!
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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