We're like a lot better than the average bears
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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