Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
