Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
