We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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