literally had 100 drinks last night.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
