Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
