u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
