My liver just broke up with me...
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
