We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize