he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
