Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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