does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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