I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
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