so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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