saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
