i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
