carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
