i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
