There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Are we still banned from the library?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Randomize
