sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
