So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
