Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
