we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
