She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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