This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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