Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
