remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
