Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize