Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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