it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
