I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
