I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
