Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
