first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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